Can My Child Decide Which Parent to Live With in Colorado?
It's one of the most common questions parents ask during a custody case: at some point, does my child just get to choose?
The short answer is no. The longer answer is that a child's preferences can matter, and as children get older, those preferences carry more weight. Understanding how Colorado law actually handles this can help you set realistic expectations and make better decisions for your family.
There Is No Magic Age
One of the most persistent myths in family law is that a child automatically gets to choose which parent to live with once they reach a certain age, often cited as 12, 14, or 16. This is not how Colorado law works.
Colorado courts do not have a specific age at which a child's preference becomes legally binding. There is no point at which a child simply decides, and the court follows. The judge retains authority over parenting decisions, and the guiding standard throughout is always the best interests of the child.
So Does a Child's Preference Matter at All?
Yes, it does. Colorado law specifically identifies a child's wishes as one of the factors a court must consider when determining parenting time and decision-making responsibilities. But it is one factor among many, not the final say.
Other factors the court weighs include:
The quality of each parent's relationship with the child
Each parent's ability to support the child's relationship with the other parent
The child's adjustment to home, school, and community
The mental and physical health of all parties
Whether there has been any history of abuse or domestic violence
A child's preference is considered in the context of all of these factors, not in isolation.
How Age and Maturity Factor In
While there is no magic age, a child's age and maturity level do influence how much weight a court gives to their expressed preference. Generally speaking:
Younger children (under 10 or so) are given less weight in terms of expressed preference. Courts recognize that young children are more susceptible to influence from a parent and may not fully understand the implications of their wishes.
Older children and teenagers are given more consideration, particularly when they can articulate clear, reasoned preferences that appear to be their own and not the product of a parent's coaching.
Maturity matters as much as age. A thoughtful, grounded 13-year-old may be taken more seriously than an impulsive 16-year-old, depending on the circumstances.
Courts are also attuned to situations where a child's stated preference seems inconsistent with their actual behavior or wellbeing, or where one parent appears to have influenced the child's views.
How Does the Court Hear a Child's Preference?
Judges rarely interview children directly, though it can be requested. Because it is rare, there are several ways a child's perspective may be brought before the court.
A Child and Family Investigator (CFI) may be appointed to speak with the child and report findings and recommendations to the court. A Parental Responsibility Evaluator (PRE) conducts a more comprehensive evaluation and can provide detailed testimony about the child's preferences and overall wellbeing.
A CFI or PRE can be brought into a case in a few different ways. The court may order one on its own if the judge determines that an independent perspective would be helpful. Either parent can also request that the court appoint one. And in some cases, both parties agree that an outside evaluator would be useful and stipulate to the appointment together.
Your attorney plays an important role in helping you think through whether requesting a CFI or PRE makes sense for your situation. In some cases it's a smart move that gives your child a voice and brings an objective perspective to the court. In others, it may not be necessary or could complicate things depending on the circumstances. This is exactly the kind of strategic decision that benefits from experienced legal guidance before you act.
If your child has strong preferences about their living situation, working with an attorney to ensure those preferences are heard through the right channels is important.
What Parents Should and Shouldn't Do
This topic brings out some of the most difficult parenting challenges in a custody case. When children express preferences, it can be tempting to encourage or amplify those feelings, especially if they align with what you want. Resist that temptation.
Courts are experienced at identifying parental influence, and a child who appears coached or pressured will reflect poorly on the parent doing the coaching, not the other parent. Beyond the legal risks, putting a child in the middle of a custody dispute causes real harm.
The better approach is to focus on being the most present, consistent, and supportive parent you can be. Let your relationship with your child speak for itself.
Frequently asked questions
How long does a motion to enforce parenting time take in Colorado?
Faster than most family law motions. Under C.R.S. 14-10-129.5, the court must act within 35 days of filing by denying the motion, setting a hearing as soon as possible, or ordering mediation. These disputes also get priority on the court's docket.
Can I get make-up parenting time for the time I lost?
Yes. If the court finds a violation, it can order make-up parenting time of the same type and duration that was denied. A missed holiday is replaced with a holiday and a missed weekend with a weekend, and the make-up time is generally provided within six months.
Will the other parent have to pay my attorney fees?
If the court finds a violation under C.R.S. 14-10-129.5, the statute says it shall order the non-complying parent to pay your attorney fees, court costs, and expenses. The fee award is mandatory once a violation is found. If the responding parent is found not to be in violation, the court may order the filing parent to cover the other side's fees instead.
Can I stop parenting time if the other parent is behind on child support?
No. Child support and parenting time are separate legal obligations in Colorado. You cannot withhold the children because support is unpaid, and the other parent cannot withhold support because of a parenting time dispute. Withholding time as leverage can damage your own case.
What is the difference between a motion to enforce and a contempt motion?
A motion to enforce under C.R.S. 14-10-129.5 is the faster, more targeted tool for parenting time violations, and it carries mandatory attorney fees if you prevail. A contempt motion under C.R.C.P. 107 is broader, applies to any willful violation of a court order, and can carry harsher penalties, but it is harder to prove and takes longer.
Talk to Rider Goodwin Law
A parenting plan violation is more than an inconvenience. It disrupts your children's stability and your ability to be present in their lives. You do not have to accept it, and you do not have to handle it alone.
Whether you need a firm letter sent, a court motion filed, or guidance on your next step, we can help you protect your parenting time and hold the other parent accountable.
Conclusion
Your child's voice matters in a Colorado custody case, but it doesn't control the outcome. Courts take preferences seriously while also looking at the full picture of what arrangement will truly serve your child's best interests.
If you have questions about how your child's preferences might affect your case, or if you're concerned that the other parent is influencing your child's views, we can help you think through your options.
Call us today at 303.728.4271 or click here to schedule a consultation.